Every one knows someone who needs help.  Often times we try to help that person get assistance and tell them they need to seek help, yet nothing happens.  Such situations can leave the observer frustrated and confused as to why a person who needs guidance just does not seek help.

The reality is therapy very seldom works until the person who needs the assistance, understands they need therapy, and are willing to seek help as their primary drive.

Often times a person who needs help has to hit rock bottom, their rock bottom not someone else's, before they will ask for help.

A person who needs help must come to that understanding for themselves.  Once they accept the need for help then they will be open to motivation from others.

Usually people in a tuff place feel out of control and being able to gain small steps of control can make all the difference in seeking help.

Help needs to be their idea and their choice.   Help the person you are working with to see and understand this.

It is critical to remember when dealing with difficult life events or situations that we take time to breath and give ourselves a break.  Spending to much time focusing on the problem and/or event can cause increased negative reactions and responses.  It is ok to be sad, it is ok to grieve, and it is ok to let yourself take some time to heal.  Often times as humans we tend to be impatience and push ourselves to hard.   All of us have good days and bad days.   If you are having a hard time coping give me a call or send an email, or comment on the blog.  I will contact you and we can talk.

Services Blue Cherries offers for Seniors to address this issue:


1) Counselors who specialize in treating the aging population
2) Offer in-home services for both home bound individuals and care givers
3) Offer counseling in the critical areas that affect the aging population such as depression, substance abuse, grief, loss, death, family relationship issues, health issues, etc.

Most older adults enjoy good mental health.  However, some may have mental health needs related to changes in their lives and changes in their health.  Some problems people experience in later life can result in depression and anxiety.  These problems may include coping with physical health problems, caring for a spouse, living with health problems, or suffering with dementia.  Some people struggle with physical disability, or managing family relational stressors, or have issues related to grief and loss of a loved one.  Mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, also have a negative impact on a person’s physical health and or their ability to function. 

Researchers estimate that almost two thirds of older adults with a mental disorder do not receive needed services.  As noted physical and mental health problems affect each other.  For example, people with medical problems such as heart disease, diabetes, or Chronic Pulmonary Disease have higher rates of depression than those who are medically well.  Conversely, untreated mental health problems in older adults with the same health problems can negatively affect the outcome of the disease.  Research suggests that even mild depression lowers immunity and may compromise a person’s ability to fight infections or cancer.

Research suggests that a majority of older adults would want to be treated should they
become depressed.  Furthermore, when given a choice of treatment of depression, older adults frequently prefer mental health services versus taking antidepressant medication.   Ongoing research suggests, addressing these problems and treating mental health conditions will improve physical health, lessen the disability and promote a better quality of life for older adults and their families. 

Mental health services are typically provided in a variety of settings including health care facilities, community-based private or group practices, and in places where older adults reside- in home based mental health services.  Mental health professionals work both independently and as members of an interdisciplinary team.  Based the needs of their clients, mental health professionals collaborate with family members, medical professionals and other social resources to provide comprehensive care for their clients.

Mental health professionals including psychiatrists, psychologists, and Licensed Mental Health Counselors, LMHC, or Licensed Clinical Social Workers, LCSW, or Marriage and Family Therapists, MFT play a significant role in addressing the mental health needs and supporting the strengths of our growing population of older adults.


Depression is no respecter of age.  Children, teenagers, adults and aging adults are affected by it.   When you are dealing with depression, or a person you care about is, here are some thoughts to consider. 

  • Accept the reality that depression is real.  You cannot just wish it away.  When I was in college many years ago I had a friend who was dealing with depression.   There were days when she didn’t even get out of bed and I was totally lost.  I kept saying to her, look just get up, get in the shower, and go to class.  Pull yourself up by your boot straps and get on with life.   Needless to say I was not very helpful.  I had never experienced depression so I truly did not understand that no matter how much a person truly wants to do, sometimes they just can’t.  Now years of clinical work and interaction with people who suffer with depression I understand it can be completely debilitating. 
  • There are two main types of depression to consider chemical depression and situational depression.  Chemical depression takes place when the body, in particular the brain is not producing enough chemicals to regulate mood and or emotions.  There are thousands of chemicals in the body that affect mood stabilization.  It would be wonderful if chemical depression could be diagnosed like diabetes; draw some blood, run some tests and here is what is missing.  Currently no such tests exist.  That is why treating chemical depression is often a trial and error process and can be very frustrating.  Do not give up. 
  • Emotional or mood depression is based on life events that have impacted a persons ability to stabilize such as a death, divorce, loss of mobility, loss of employment, etc.  This type of depression most individuals will face at some point in their lives.  Usually this depression is most intense at the point of impact and fades as time passes but not always. 

Treatment factors:

  • Accept yourself or the person you care about exactly where they are.  Do not make the mistake I made with my friend.  That will only harm yourself or them and create frustration.
  • Realize you do not have to try to deal with depression alone.  Doing so will only make the process more difficult and harder to find balance.
  • When seeking help make sure you are working with a person you feel comfortable with who has a holistic approach.  There are many things that effect depression from life events, body chemicals, sleep patterns, nutrition, light and climate just to name a few.
  • Give yourself time.  You are not in a race.  Forcing the issue can backfire and intensify the depression.
  • Have a plan and make those who you are closest to, that you can trust, aware of your plan.
  • Keep a journal of all that you are working on and trying so that you do not repeat processes which are not effective.
  • Accept whatever is a milestone no matter how small or insignificant you may think it is.   Small things add up. 
  • Trust yourself and the person you are working with. 

Blue Cherries is here to help you with your questions regarding depression and provide a therapist or life coach to work with on your journey to balance. 


Take a moment to look at the following article. 

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