Often times individuals who deal with mental health issues and addictions feel stuck.  They make such statements as I have tried everything and nothing works.  Whats the point.  I have no idea even where to start or what to do. 
Such statements are very understandable considering what they are dealing with.  Critical to remember is that most individuals dealing with mental health issues and addictions need help to start healing and to continue the healing process. 

If you are dealing with a person who feels life is hopeless talk to others for advice or call a professional.  Often times a new perspective can help you know just what to say to get the hopeless person started down the right track.  
There are many new approaches to deal with mental health and additions  issues in practice today that are very effective.

I am happy to offer guidance. 



At moments it can be very difficult for a person who has never had an addiction to understand why a person who is addicted can't just quit. 
Many addicts tell me that they are told such things as: Just stop, If you really wanted to get over this you could, You do not want to change. etc. 

I have tried to figure out a way to best explain the brain of an addict to those who have never had an addiction and the other day I saw a clip from a movie that made understanding an addiction, I think, very clear.  The movie goes like this, a person with a drinking addiction is standing in the bar asking for a drink.  The bar tender puts the drink on the counter.  As the person, who asked for the drink, goes to approach the bar for the drink their friend points a revolver at the person’s head and says,  “If you take that drink I will blow your head off.”  

Now for people who do not have a drinking addiction, a loaded gun pointed at their head would be more than enough deterrence to keep one from ever taking a drink again.  However when I showed this video to people who have additions here were some of their thought processes:

Oh he is just bluffing.  I can take that drink
Can I get the drink before he pulls the trigger.
Just one more drink before I die that is all I want just one more drink.
What if he misses then I can have the drink and still live.

Now most individuals who’s brain chemistry have not been changed due to an addiction would never have had such thoughts.  

When you are dealing with a person who has an addiction remember they no longer process thoughts rationally.  You need to help them and yourself get professional help to deal with the addiction. 

I can answer any questions you may have and direct you to effective help in the forms of day treatment, inpatient treatment, and outpatient services. 

Give me a  call, Do not try to tackle this on your own.  


One of the most difficult issues with mental health is to know when to offer help and when not to.

Great frustration comes to pass often, as individuals who love and care about a person who is struggling with mental health issues or addictions, refuse the help they offer or no matter what a person tries nothing seems to help.

If you are dealing with a person who needs help but either refuses to get help or you are at a lost at what to try here are a few suggestions.

1) If you are working harder than the person who needs help stop.   This is not your issue it is their issues and they need to decide if they want to change.

2) Let a person hit rock bottom sometimes is the only option to going up.

3) Give a copy of my book Shell Cracking to the person who needs help.  It is a great way to allow a person to see what counseling could be like and to decided if such a process is right for them.

4) Let the person who needs the help lead out.  This can be done by asking open ended questions such as:  Do you think you need help?  What type of help do you think you need?  What are you willing to do to get help?


Remember it is ok to ask for help as the person who is seeking to help a loved one who is emotionally hurting or facing addictions.     If you are not filling back up your bucket faster than the person you care about is emptying it you could find yourself very lost and confused.

Counseling works when the timing is right, the right processes is applied, and the right counselor is involved.

Counseling is very much relationship based so make sure as you visit with a counselor find the right one for you.



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